Farewell Massachusetts: The Randalls have left behind many good friends in the Boston area who will be sorely missed. This is a plea to those people (especially the Flanders, Siekmans, Economous, Geiss, Pang & Lis, Shavers and all the crazies at Lincoln Laboratory) to come to their senses and move to TEXAS. Things are BIGGER AND BETTER in TEXAS. There is NO STATE INCOME TAX. And any snow means you get a day off. Well, at least come visit.
Yet Another Move: After an arduous and exhausting (if not exhaustive) search the Randalls have located a proper dwelling to act as a base for their nefarious activities. It is a one and a half story edifice which contains 4 bedrooms and is located in a wooded section of Richardson (NOT a planar part of Plano). The aforementioned property becomes the Randalls on Dec. 19, 1985.
The Munchkin Report: Ashley Miranda Randall ( Kadoodle, Munchkin, Buda-Buskin, Buhda, Destructo-Baby) is one year old, weighs 21 lbs, has 7&1/2 teeth, is disgustingly cute and good-natured, is currently evolving from quadra- to bi-ped, knows that "ball" refers to spheroid objects, thinks that everybody and everything is "Mama", and has personally entered the following:
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Out on the Town in Dallas: The Randalls have discovered and highly recommend Cantina Laredo, a snazzy spot with mouth and eye watering Mexican vittles, 34 different species of Mexican beer, hospitable illegal aliens, and a Mariachi band on weekends. NOTE: The Randalls recommend avoiding downtown Dallas on the Texas-OU weekend.
The Relativity Report 85 : The Stepchinskis:
Patrice's Parents: Eddie has retired from the rat race (Houston Lighting and Power). He and Anita intend to lead a life of leisure. Patrice's Brothers: Nigel married Rhonda (as promised in our last edition). Both Bride and Groom are on the Houston Police Force. Nigel is a detective and Rhonda is still the best looking cop in Texas. Patrick is still climbing the corporate ladder at Exxon and has picked up his MBA just for fun.
The Randalls: John's Parents: Bill and Vee are hard to follow. They are usually watching whales hump or are dodging terrorists in some foreign country. John's Siblings: Cindy, Bob, and Shelly (The Finchs) are still in the gymnastics business. Cindy has taken up body building and took third (out of 23) in a recent "meat meet". Mike is still working hard selling cars and has vowed to become the best skier in Texas with a plastic hip. < The Pet Report: Isis (our fuzzy feline flea bag) has finally been able to control her weight. This has been accomplished primarily through exercise which consists of running from Ashley who delights in pulling fur out of unwary cats.
The Sporting Life: In Massachusetts the North East Judo Club TOHOKU, has moved to a new location. John will miss being thrashed on a weekly basis by the fine group of judoka at that excellent club. However, at the Tamura Judo Institute in Dallas there are a number of individuals who are more than willing to help John with his weekly dose of masochism. Though they have been neglecting their bodies over the past several hectic months both John and Patrice have vowed to PUMP IRON at the Fitness Center at Texas Instruments. Patrice has promised to take up tennis.
New Computer Purchase: As if you had not noticed, this document has not been prepared on an antiquated Trash-80 Model I. The Randalls have aquired a MACINTOSH. Anyone with a spelling checker (which John obviuosly needs) or any other nifty software for the Mac and a blatant disregard for copyright laws should send it in a plain brown wrapper to us and be ashamed of themselves.
