MUNCHKIN UPDATE: Ashley Miranda Randall along with her parents has survived the "terrible two's". She is currently 3 feet tall, weighs 27.5 lbs, has long curly hair, knows much too much for her own good and her favorite song is "Fish Heads". Patrice is trying to raise her as a "neatnik" but must contend with John's counter-examples. Ashley is not shy. Recently, in an airport waiting area, she accosted a women who was trying to discreetly consume a candy bar. After introducing herself, Ashley announced "I'm hungry!" and happily accepted an offering.

PET REPORT: Isis, (a.k.a. Fuzz Bucket, THAT DAMNED CAT!!!, etc.) remains our only official house pet. While Patrice has succeded in eliminating our kitty's life threatening sofa scratching behavior, screen scratching (the bedroom window at 4 am variety) remains a problem. John vetoed Patrice's plan of electrifying the screen. Imagine our fur ball's suprise however, when she tugged at the previously impassive screen one recent morning, only to have it and herself fall ignominiously to the porch. From within the house Patrice smiled smugly.

GOOD NEIGHBORS: The Randalls have had the good fortune to become acquainted with many fine people in their area. The Sheriffs: Karen, Jeff, Hillary, Jenna, B.J., Jeremy, and special guest Monica, live next door. They are silly and more fun than a barrel of monkeys. The Stoops: Joyce, Gary, Steve, Matt, and many other frequenters from their clan, provide entertainment at one of Ashley's favorite spots.

HIGH FASHION NEWS: After years of deliberation, Patrice has decided on a second try at a modeling career (the first attempt got sidelined by silly diversions like chemical engineering and astro-physics). She has just signed a contract with a modeling agency and expects to start to work soon.

RELATIVITY REPORT: The Randall side: It is hard to believe but after many long years at 888 Country Lane Bill and Vee have moved. How all the stuff that Vee had collected fit into their new domicile (not too far from the old one) is one of the mysteries of modern science. Cindy, Bob, and Shelly (the Finch Funny Bunch) have also moved. They now find themselves much closer to Gym USA the Gymnastics Academy / Day Care / Playful Parenting / Summer Camp place. Mike is planning a move of a different sort, he is engaged to Vicki (a Swedish bombshell). We heartily approve.

The Stepchinski side: Everybody is moving, Anita and Eddie are no exception. They leave after 16 years on Creekmont for a spot closer to: Rhonda and Nigel who moved last year and are both moving up the ladder on the Houston Police Force. Rhonda took her Sargents test and scored an excellent 95 which should make her a Sargent sometime in 88. Patrick is moving up, and we don't mean just the corporate ladder at Exxon. What we mean is that he is beginning work on the second story of his house.

INTERIOR DECORATING: After living in our new house for two years now, Patrice has finally found the perfect dining room table. It is indeed a thing of beauty which dominates the dining room (partially because it is the ONLY thing in the dining room). Patrice promises that by this time next year she will have selected the perfect chairs to go with it.

THE TI REPORT: The Advanced Concepts Branch has announced the world's first laterally quantized vertical resonant tunneling diode! YAH ... WHO CARES?? Some of the guilty include: Bob Bate, our fearless leader who is still searching for quantum truth and a putting instructor. Mark (stacker of greasy BBs) Reed who got a starship this year. Billy Bob (quantum cruncher) Frensley who had a new baby boy: Paul William. Chia-Hung Yang who recently escaped from both Princeton and the U.S. Immigration service. Raj Aggarwal and Anna Wetsel who provided cheap labor. The real work of course was done by Pam Stickney, Bob Aldert, and Elaine Pijan (who has the dubious distinction of working for John). Other members of our happy crew include: Gary (Cell Automator) Frazier, Brian (a bender of genders) Holgate, Marek (artificially alive) Lugowski, Mike (concrete dust) Gately, Jim (what do you do with fractals?) Luscombe, Penny (I didn't change it much) Romel, and Andy (one part vermouth and two parts gin) Penz. Members of the ACB will be eagerly awaiting a mysteriously trivial and somewhat delinquent something.

HOME SECURITY: Burglars BEWARE! At the insistance of Patrice, the Randalls have been working on installing a security system. John reports that the system is so insideously clever that, once it is fully implemented, the Randalls will probably not be able to get back in their house, ever again!

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