Well, it's been a pretty quiet year for the Randalls in Dallas Texas NOT. Ian, Ashley, Patrice, and John hope that your 1993 was as fun but less hectic than ours. This letter's lateness attests to just how hectic our year has been.

Randall House Invaded:
With Ashley and John in East Texas battling raccoons and other wildlife, Patrice and Ian barely survived an invasion of a small army of aquatic aviators. When Patrice stepped out of the house to discover what our feline sentry Isis was stalking, into the house ran 9 crazed Baby Ducks. The tenth was being chased across the yard by the aforementioned four legged fur-ball. Caught in a split-second dilemma between the fate of a baby duck and that of our white carpets . . . Patrice agonized for milliseconds then ran (still in bathrobe) into the backyard. Ian also sprang into action and together they tracked the webbed wonder into a neighbor's yard and retrieved it. What followed next in the Randall house will forever be known as the wild-webbed baby-duck chase and round-up. A few hours later Momma-duck came to reclaim her troupe but only left with 7. Patrice (this time with clothes on) had to jump a fence and fend off a large dog to save one of the stragglers. Further efforts to re-unite the fowl family failed. A few days later the remaining ducks were turned over to the Plano Outdoor Learning Center.

The Ashley Update:
Ashley, now 9 years old and in 3rd grade, has continued her study of Judo. She has competed in and placed in 3 tournaments. She has also taken up horseback riding and has won two ribbons in shows. This has intensified her interest in horses and we have indulged her by getting her 3 horses for Christmas. This would present a real house cleaning problem if they were not of the small plastic type.

Ian Info:
Ian is now 4 and is also attending Judo classes. He thinks that he is Batman. Every night we must read stories, sing "Away with Rum" and literally throw him into bed. Like his sister, he seems to have the parent-child relationship confused. He keeps telling me that if I don't do as he says that I will be in "BIG BIG TWOUBLE!"

Presenting Patrice:
Patty-rice-cakes was honored as the 20th "Coming Home Queen" at her high school St.Pius. We all had a fine time visiting with some of her childhood friends. David and Cathy Ciarella helped make the evening a special event. In 1993, Patrice finally managed to lose her braces. In addition to her extensive duties as head of the household, Patrice has been writing software and doing some marketing work for a small firm.

John Junk:
In order to minimize his effect on research there, Texas Instruments keeps sending John out of town. This year he went to Washington DC, New Orleans, SanDiego, Albuquerque, and Phoenix. The Nanoelectronics group (where John works) announced the world's first room temperature quantum effect integrated circuit. Because Alan Seabaugh was not available at the time, John had the opportunity to be misquoted in the Wall Street Journal and the Dallas Morning News.

Pet Parade:
As mentioned in our lead story, Isis the wonder cat is still among the living, and will probably remain that way until all of John's bad (kitty torture) Karma is depleted. Joining us this year are not one but two additional turtles that both simply climbed onto our back porch when word got around the reptile grapevine about our fabulous back yard turtle pit. The two new members, Starburst and Brownie, are now happily hibernating along with our original turtle guest Snapper.

Family Trips:
Early in the year Patrice and John tricked our parents into minding the midgets and snuck off to our state capital to rediscover some Texas history, eat Austin Mexican food, and be as decadent as possible. In May we all got on a choo-choo and went to California. We spent a wonderful day and a half at Disney Land and then drove to San Diego. Patrice and the munchkins went to Sea World, lounged around the pool, and went to the fabulous San Diego Zoo. John went to meetings. All in all the trip was wonderful with the exception of the return trip from San Diego to the Los Angeles train station. We planned a leisurely car trip with plenty of time to spare, so we were not worried when we left 30 minutes late. We began to worry when Patrice got sick and required frequent stops along the way. Even with a map to the Avis Rent a Car office in downtown LA we got lost and began to feel frantic. Imagine our relief when we found the Avis Office. Imagine our disbelief when we noticed it was closed. Finally imagine Patrice's worst nightmare, our train leaves in less than 30 minutes (the next one is in three days), we don't know how to get to the train station, she is not feeling well, we have a car that we don't know what to do with, and we are LOST in downtown LA late at night. Aided by his keen sense of direction and dumb luck John finds the train station. John calls Avis and is told that he will be incinerated in the foul smelling place where the guy with the pitch-fork lives if he voids his contract by leaving his car at the train station. John thanks them and says he will leave the keys in the car. It is now too late to check the baggage and the Randalls run towards the tracks. Patrice with Ian and Ashley in tow runs up a set of stairs. John with several hundred pounds of luggage on a cart decides a ramp is a better choice. Patrice finds the right car, gets the children on board, and discovers that her husband is nowhere to be seen. She accosts several Amtrak people demanding to know where the average sized guy with a bunch of luggage is. John finally shows up and we all collapse on the train. It was a great trip.

Relativity Report
The Randall Review: Vee and Bill (John's parents) are doing fine. Vee has managed to keep her slimmed down look principally by chasing grandchildren. She now claims to have proof that we are direct descendants (on the Randall side) of George Washington's half-brother Lawrence. When he is not doing impromptu headstands, Bill tries to keep busy. He took a trip to Turkmenistan and had dinner with Alexander Haig in an attempt to do some business in that former Soviet republic. Bill resisted John's suggestion to ask Al about the time when he thought he was the president. Sister Cindy got a divorce, a new boyfriend, and free haircuts. Shelly(10) and Kelsie(4) help run their two Gymnastics Gyms/Day Care Centers. Brother Mike's midgets Kalli(5) and Cody(2) are helping keep the attendance up in Aunt Cindy's Gym. His wife Vicki is now a design/marketing specialist for GADZOOKS.

The Stepchinski Story: Anita and Eddie (Patrice's Parents) are delighted with all of their grandbabies. Brother Nigel and wife Rhonda continue in their careers as Houston Police officers. Their 3 year old named Caitlin and Ian had a fine time riding around in her new Jeep. Nigel got a new dirt bike and used it to wreck his knee. Brother Patrick and his bride Erica are now the proud parents of a bouncing baby girl named Leanne. Patrice has concluded through a careful scientific study that it is clinically impossible for any niece or nephew of ours to be anything but a beautiful and adorable child.

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