OOPS!!! We missed one.  For those of you who were disappointed that they did not receive the annual Randall Christmas update last year we have good news and bad news:
The good news is that you really did not drop off of our list of people favored to receive this annual schlock, we simply did not create one.  The bad news is that we are back to our old tricks of Highly Questionable Holiday Humor and you are stuck with us.  For those of you unlucky enough to land on the list for the first time, our apologies.  If anyone is offended by this generic form of annual communication, please let us know and we will put you on the B list where we will for you personally stuff an envelope with a traditional Xmas card containing a cheezy platitude.  Anyone wishing to see what you missed in previous years can stroll around our web site for back issues.
 
 

Ian Increments:  Ian is now 12 and in (GASP) Junior High (or Middle School as it is called around here).  He has taken up aggressive inline skating with a vengeance.  He busts sick moves (true spin top side soul, kind grid across half pipe, 360s over big gaps, etc.) at Eisenbergs Skate Park.  Ian received the MVP award n the advanced group at Eisenburgs summer skate camp.  When Ian is not studying, drawing, reading comics or Harry Potter, or playing video games, he is playing Alto saxophone and/or electric guitar.

 

Ashley Archives:  Ashley is now 17 and a junior at Plano East Senior High. At PESH and surrounding schools, Ashley seems to be at the center of various social movements, actions, and unrest.   Currently Ashley is waffling on where she wants to go to college, what she wants to study, and what category of Moron her father is.  Inspired by her brother's musical pursuits she has also acquired an electric bass guitar as a new hobby of strumming the strings unto no end.

 

Patrice Plans:  Patrice is hard at work designing a new house.  The Randalls bought a lot in a new subdivision (The Hills of Breckenridge).  This lot is not too far from the Randall's old house and is patiently awaiting the Randalls to break ground.  This has not happened yet because Patrice does not want to build an ordinary "stick" house where the principal building material is wood.  Instead she has designed a house to be built from Aerated Autoclaved Concrete (AAC).  This is a European construction technique that is strong, quiet, fireproof, and energy efficient.  The floorplan featurs a "Mud Room" (AKA Doggie Dormatory) for the K9 fur and dirt dispenser known as Max.  Patrice says the style will be Early Roman but with accents supplied by a time traveler.

 

John Jumps Jobs:  The significant John news is that after more than 15 years at Texas Instruments, John accepted a job at Zyvex, a small company with plans for world domination.  In  nine short months, John has had a curious career path at Zyvex. He started out as a contributing scientist only to find himself the CTO a few months later.  A few months after that he became the VP of Research.  Those in the know believe that this must be part of a plan to rotate John through as many jobs in the company as possible and expect John to become a janitor sometime next summer.  John is still conspiring with the artist Christian Seidler to create a 21st Century Paint Brush.

 

Relativity Report: The Randalls:  We are happy to report that Bill and Vee (John's parents) are both still doing well in Houston with the exception of having to put up with John's brother Mike who having escaped from the frozen wastelands of the north (Minnesota) has moved back in.  Sister Cindy is still running Gym USA and dealing with Shelly (18) and Kelsie (12).  The Stepchinskis: Eddie and Anita (Partice's parents) are in a similar pickle as Bill and Vee.  They are in Houston and having to deal with their youngest son moving back in.  Only in this case Nigel brought his wife Rhonda and 2 kids Caitlin(10) and Kyle(7).  Seems they (Nigel etc) had their house flooded last summer and haven't been able to clean it up yet.  Brother Patrick, wife Erica, and midgets Leanne(8) and Alan(5) are all doing well in Clear Lake.